Sunday, March 29, 2009

A great Article on Sex Honesty

Sex Honesty: Get Involved!
Posted in Ask Dan and Jennifer, Sex on March 18th, 2009 by swingant
“We believe that the solution to a more loving and accepting world lies in foundations of open and honest communication around all topics - including sex education, sexual preferences, and sexual orientation.

Sex Honesty is the ideal behind the publication and sharing of truthful, uncensored, and sex positive information.”

~

I’ve been familiar with Dan and Jennifer for quite some time. Dan and Jennifer are the Founders and Senior Editors of the very popular site - Ask Dan and Jennifer. It really is a great place to go for the best dating, love and sex advice around. If you’ve visited Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today’s Top Erotica Writers before, you have noticed that I’m fond of posting Dan and Jennifer’s advice videos here at the blog. Dan and Jennifer have a positive attitude when it comes to sexuality, and that’s what I support here at Swing!

Now they’ve launched another way to support a healthy attitude and discussion about sex, and that’s with the project - Sex Honesty. The Sex Honesty project is looking for individuals and organizations that “support honesty, education and a sex positive message.”

There are so many ways to support this wonderful project.

Donate money - even as little as $1 will help to support the cause. Larger donations are of course welcome, too!

Blog about Sex Honesty.

Read the rest here: http://swinganthology.com/

Friday, March 27, 2009

This is Great

We came across this banned commercial and had to share it... The Swinglifestyle is alive and well... even at ad agencies...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Friends With Benefits Makes Playtime Extra Fun!!!

a swingers website, developed and brought to you by real swingers, living a swinglifestyle; for real swingers, who are swinging, or for those that are interested in swinging and don’t know where to begin. Swinging isn’t something that you just decide to do.& It is important that you and your partner are comfortable with the idea and are willing to stop if one of you isn’t. Not knowing how you will truly react your first time out, you must really spend a good amount time talking about what you are going to do if one of you gets jealous, if one of you feels insecure, or if one of you or possibly both accidentally end up having a crush on the other person or people. These are real issues that need to be addressed before going any further. Your comfort with each otheris paramount. If you aren’t completely ready then a swing lifestyle isn’t for you.
Understanding why you want to find and play with friends with benefits is also important. If you both are not on the same page, this will create confusion, hurt feelings, and unnecessary misunderstandings. When you first start swinging you are going to feel emotions that you probably have never felt before and you need to make sure you address them before they become problems. Adding people and excitement to your relationship is supposed to help your bond grow while indulging in the idle pleasures of others. If you don’t find yourself enjoying the extracurricular play, that’s okay, swinging isn’t for everyone. read the rest here:http://www.adultlinkexchange.info/friends-with-benefits.html

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Helpful hints for getting away

How to survive a kink event
The new year is coming quickly, and for me, that means that I’m looking forward to all my favorite events in 2009.
From Chicago to Washington DC to NYC to San Francisco and beyond, there are at least three or four kink / sex positive events every weekend to choose from. Running away from the “vanilla” world for a weekend to cavort and learn with a hotel full of kinky people is a delicious idea, but keep in mind that it’s not just a vacation - it’s an adventure in energy-, money-, and time-stretching that isn’t for the faint of heart! Here are some of my own observations and rules that I use for event attending for your perusal; if you have more, I’d love to know about them, too, so I can wring even more enjoyment out of my weekends away!

1. Acknowledge that you can’t do everything, and that you are under no obligation to make it to every class or special event you want to go to. Give yourself permission to skip something - or a few somethings.

2. Take time out for down time. Afternoon or post-dinner naps are amazingly restorative, even if you just lay there watching the hotel TV like a zombie for an hour. I personally recommend scheduling longer, and starting off with great sex prior to your nap, but your mileage may vary!

3. Eat appropriate food. Pop tarts and Cheez Doodles may not be the best options for breakfast and lunch, especially when you’re stressing your body out by staying away from home with 800 of your BFF’s and sleeping four hours a day while kissing everyone in the vicinity and trying to figure out whether that hot, sexy thang was just being nice or was really flirting with you and whether you should hit on them later at the party.

4. Go away for a bit. Whether it’s a movie on the TV in your hotel room, a walk through a nearby park, or soaking in a bath tub and reading a novel, some time where you’re awake and not immersed in kinky concepts can go a long way towards helping to not burn out.

5. Take a sanity kit of toiletries & accessories. Mine includes:

Earplugs to block external noises (like rowdy hotel hall wanderers, snoring roommates, and the construction across the street)
Health-supporting substances - zinc, multivitamins, vitamin c (bonus if it’s emergen-c packets), echinacea, arnica (for bruises), tylenol, tums, allergy meds, decongestants, sunblock (especially for events with large out-of-doors components).
Lube. Even if you rarely need it.
Extra condoms.
A spare cell phone charger.
Extra hotel-sized bar of soap
Extra hotel-sized bottle of lotion
Business cards with at least your name & email address. Give them out & skip the search for a pen in your pocket to write your info down on a scrap of paper which will accidentally end up in the trash, anyhow.
Teddy Bear (mine is named Stuart)

Read the rest here: http://sarahsloane.wordpress.com/2008/12/06/how-to-survive-a-kink-event/

Saturday, March 21, 2009

something we cam across

Your Swinglifestyle Is YOUR Business!
Living as a straight monogamous man or woman is getting increasingly….BORING!!! However as boring as it is, it is hard to find someone who is willing to play outside the box. Old ideals and taboos can really get in the way of someone having fun. Having an open mind is a desirable quality, as long as it doesn’t have to do with the bedroom. Are you sick of hearing that? Yeah, we are as well. Tired of living a so called traditional life? Do you want more? Do you want wife swapping? Is your husband excited by the idea of being able to touch someone else? Does the idea of seeing your wife getting touched by another man or woman, or both, turn you on?

Have you and your lover experienced a swinglifestyle before and just want to meet real people without a bunch games? You know that playing with other people can be fun, stimulating, and good for your relationship. If you and your lover are in a stable, comfortable, open-minded relationship; winkwinkplayplay.com is for you. At winkwinkplayplay.com there are like-minded people who are also ready to meet new friends to broaden their horizons and help experience life to its fullest. Maybe you aren’t in a relationship at all? You might just want to meet people to have fun with. Couples and singles alike want to meet others to play with. Having freedom of pleasure without the headache of a relationship is what these people are looking. Tired of hanging out in bars waiting for a couple that is ready to play is boring and dangerous, and usually leaves you going home alone either way.
READ THE REST HERE:http://www.sexy-live-webcam.com/swinglifestyle.html

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Great Q&A on a topic for most men

We came across this Q&A and had to share it... We have come across many couples and/or men who have thoughts about this and we felt the way this is addressed should answer many unasked questions...

Adult Swinging - Fear of inadequacy
Expert: Analisa - 3/17/2009

Question
My wife and I of 28 years are incredibly happy and secure. She's my best friend, business partner, mother of my child, and many other roles. She's only had two other sex partners before we were married, and one of those was abusive. That, coupled with low testosterone, kept her libido in idle for several years. We have been working on that over the past couple of years and found a doctor who has helped her immensely. If fact, she can get really hot now, and is still incredibly beautiful.

We've been fantasizing about the hot wife lifestyle for some time. She's an exhibitionist and I'm a voyeur, so it fits pretty well. We'd both like to find some men for her to be with while I watch, take pics, etc, and have been cautiously moving down that road. We've joined a swap site, posted some pics, and have been looking for men and/or couples that might fit. She has no desire to see me with another woman, and that's okay with me.

We're trying to check ourselves at every step, keeping communication open and making sure this is right (how do you ever know until you jump?). One of my concerns is that I will feel inadequate. While I've helped bring her along (she never had an orgasm until we met), I'm of average size and am one of the 30% of males who has a fairly quick trigger. Part of our fantasy these days is watching videos of men who go long and hard and using a thick 8" dong that fills her up. Don't get me wrong - we have great sex in a variety of ways, and there are a couple of things I do that put her on the ceiling. I'm just not sure how I'll feel, knowing these men can give her what I cannot. Of course, that's partly why we're doing this, so she can experience what she's never felt before, and I can get my own private porn show. So, I'm kind of conflicted. I’m also not sure if my lack of desire to join in a full swap has something to do with my fear of pleasing another woman.

I realize you can't tell me how I'll feel, but do you have any advice for guys like me? Have you known other men in the lifestyle with PE and how they handle things like this, or other being women for that matter?

Thanks


Answer
Todd,

First let me congratulate you on putting your wife first in this process, it is really the only way that this is successful.

Second let me tell you from a woman's perspective you must be doing something right if you were able to be the first one to get her off. So you may be proving the point of "It's not the size of the ship but, the motion of the ocean" or "It's not the length of the wand but the magician who wields it" sayings.

there's more read it here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/2009/3/Fear-inadequacy.htm

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Vanilla friend part 2

So a few posts ago we talked about revealing our lifestyle choice to a friend of ours that isn’t in the Swinglifestyle and has no experience wife swapping. The summary of that posting was the possible outcome of revealing such a thing to vanilla friends. Here is a bit of what we wrote on past experience and responses we have gotten from those experiences:

In the past when we have shared this we with other vanilla friends we have basically gotten three responses
1. You’re WHAT… followed by a polite oh that’s cool and then the friendship fades away to the point of no contact.
2. REALLY… Followed with we/I have always been curious about that (if this is a male he typically sees if he can fuck my wife, Females try this too however we have found that this usually doesn’t work out well).
3. Huh… I can see that followed by acceptance (this is very rare… Usually people are curious and number two comes into play).
Now the friend that we revealed ourselves to has been a friend of ours for over ten years and we thought that through everything this friend would understand… Well it just goes to show you; you can never predict human behavior or response to a situation… His first response was along the lines of number 3. Acceptance however as we stated in that posting this response is very rare… Most people aren’t this open and accepting usually their own experience or believe system comes into play and interferes with open-minded acceptance of something different. Look we are saying people are narrow minded or judgmental. What we are saying is that fear is usually the first reaction to something new or different. Anyway the response he seems to have had is number 1. Friendship fades to the point of no contact…
Now this posting could be premature and he is still trying to digest the whole thing and come to his own acceptance of it. This is us just trying to be the total optimist and give an old friend the benefit of the doubt.
So will we stop living the Swinglifestyle or stop being honest with our vanilla friends when confronted with the truth…? The answer is a Resounding NO… We have no shame in what we choose to do or the way we live our life. Being a Swinger, Wife Swapping, Friends with Benefits no matter what you call it has bought me and my wife closer as a couple than we could have ever imaged. We make no apologies for our lifestyle.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

One from one of our follower's great article

34 Kinds of sex, and still counting
Posted By jss on February 24, 2009

I was thinking this morning about people who have idealized monogamous sex within a loving and committed relationship. You know the ones, who have good marriages or are otherwise partnered with their best friends and soulmates.

I’m thrilled for all of them, truly; even the ones who look down on the rest of us or think we’re all pretty much damned to crackle in Hellfire and already smell vaguely of sulphur. Even though the word “soulmate” makes my skin crawl a little. There are more of us than there are of them, obviously, and I do not feel compelled to cite statistics right now.

Anyway, it occurred to me that idealizing this kind of relationship implies, further, idealizing a particular kind of sex … and that is “I really love you” sex, including the “I still think you’re the hottest thing on the planet” foreplay. There is a body of literature (I use the word loosely) about hot monogamy. (Serial monogamy represents a series of failures of hot monogamy, I suppose.) Religious conservatives love to postulate that Christians have better sex than heathens, or should, anyway, since they’re having sex that is actually blessed by divine and almighty power …

But anyway, for fun, I’ve made a list of 20 25 34 other kinds of sex that people have, or at least that I’ve had. It took me five minutes to make the list. Five. Minutes. If you’ve had all these kinds of sex with ONE partner … well, let me know. You win something or the other.

Feel free to add your own worthy variations in the comments … if there’s enough responses, I’ll update the list with attribution and links.

to read the rest and see the list click here: http://www.intotemptation.net/2009/02/24/34-kinds-of-sex/#more-316

Monday, March 16, 2009

A nice Article about us

Explore The Swinger Lifestyle
Posted: Mar 10th, 2009
It's great to have people who love and care for you, making great longtime/lasting friends will create fun times and a long happy future. Finding or meeting these people can sometimes be hard, however, Winkwinkplayplay.com has found a solution.

Create an account, upload a photo, add a brief bio, and you will instantly be able to interact with other real singles and couples. All profiles you choose to visit have user-friendly details which allow you to express yourself about what your interests are while others are doing the exact same.
Find your perfect match today whether you want to share this person with another, your spouse or keep them for yourself. Local profiles include in depth information about the individuals self image, appearance by photo, and other detailed information is available when searching for a new exciting friend. Each profile is a real person, no fake ads to pornography sites, and you can browse hundreds of peoples profiles located in you are area.

The term ‘friends with benefits' is often thrown around, but what does the definition term describe it as: friends with benefits is being attracted or intimate with another person, or more without having to maintain years of relationship. It is also described as singles or couples who obtain the understanding with their partner to interact with other couples or individuals without the other partner concern. Winkwinkplayplay.com offers local singles, couples and swingers in your area. Just search by zip code and begin to let the future communication start to happen.

Check out the resst here : http://www.articlesbase.com/art-and-entertainment-articles/explore-the-swinger-lifestyle-810224.html

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Q&A we came across on boundaries

This Q&A is about a couple wanting to enter the swinglifestyle and are unsure. We stress the need for communication and rule / boundaries which they address so we thought we would share it with you.

Adult Swinging - Begginning swinging and yet worried

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Expert: Leesa - 1/27/2009
Question
Context: Hi, my partner and I have been together 5 years now. I have a
toddler and he 3 kids from prior marriage. We are long term couple. Love and
care for each other very much. I am bisexual, been in lesbian relationships 10
yrs before meeting partner. I am happy feeling bisexual. But have not
indulged my needs. He is supportive of my sexuality. I have kissed a friend of
friend F a couple of time out dancing but not sex with another girl. This is
what I am seeking. In past I have had 3 threesomes. FFM, FFM and FFF. None
were that satisfying- the fantasy much better. I have explored abit and my
partner never has. He is leading the quest to want to swing. We went to a
swingers once when I was 8 mth pregnant- my hormones were not out there
to go for it. I went cause I supported his need to explore. Both of us never
had done exploring or sex with many people in our younger yrs, more me
than him. Now he wants to really try out couple swinging. I fantasies about
this much. Yet I do not have as much of a desire for this. I am in need of FF
intimacy, may lead to some play, occassionally. He not want to have full on
sex with another women on his own. He thinks it unfair if I want to have FF
for my bi needs. I know its hard for a straight guy to accept his girlfriend
want some FF satisfaction. He has low sex drive and not the creative type
sexually. I have high drive and am always initiating creativity and fun. He
reason for swinging is bored, want fun. I should be bored I don`t get it much
from him. We have discussed- he would like more intimacy with me then
penetration sex- fair enough. So my issue is. Yes, I am happy to swing with
another couple- but I worry boundaries may get blurry and I don`t want this
to ruin our relationship. He thinks by swinging I will get more sex as it will
increase his sex drive- really, is that a gurantee. He has not bi interest
himself. As much as I love guys getting it on. I don`t really care much to
swing, I guess I just want FF play sometimes. He does not want to miss out on
all the fun and sees couple swinging a safe option. I don`t want another guy
to penetrate me with penis, he does not want to penetrate another girl with
penis and I could not stand seeing him pash another girl- I know I would
struggle to cope with that. So is swinging for us?

Answer
Hi there thanks for your question.
Swinging: is it for you.
Yes: Is my answer, you dont have to have sex with others to swing.

Read the rest here :http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/2009/1/Begginning-swinging-worried.htm

Friday, March 13, 2009

Here is a great Q & A we came across

Adult Swinging - Couple Considering Swinging
Expert: Leesa - 2/25/2009

Question
Dear Leesa,


Hello, and thank you for taking my question. I will try my best not to ramble and give you enough facts to provide you with an idea of what is going on in my marriage. A few months back I noticed my wife seemingly frustrated at home, and acting like she was refraining from telling me something. So, I sat her down, and re-assured her that I loved her, and that I would support her no matter what she had to tell me. She became angry at first, and shut me off for a couple of days, but once she spoke with me again she began opening up to me telling me that she is feeling the desire to explore an open relationship and was worried that this would hurt me. It took me by suprise, but it did not hurt me. I was glad she told me, and I agreed that it might be something worth considering.

Since that time, she has become a completely different person in a very good way. She is very open with me, honest, and tells me everything. The fights we used to have have diminished greatly because there is no longer an elephant in the room that no one is talking about. Our relationship is better in every way. She knows that I love her unconditionally and will never leave her and that she can be completely honest with me without judgement and persecution that all too often is unnecessary.

I tell you all of this on the premise that hopefully now you will understand my complete question. My wife is at a point to where she is willing to begin the exploration of the swinging lifestyle. However, it comes with reservations, mainly unease of the unknown. Her nor I know exactly what this experience will be like, or what the kind of people in the swinging lifestyle are like. We want to meet genuinely good people who enjoy friendships first, and fun second. All my wife has to compare this to is the typical bar crowd which have absolutely no resemblence to this as near as I can tell.

The first question is should we enter into this lifestyle given the openness we have had with eachother to experiment? Secondly, it would be how do we even go about finding the right people and places? And third it is that my wife is in no way bisexual (nor am I). She would not mind kissing a girl and doing certain sensual things, but the idea of going all the way with one is not something she has any desire to try. She is much more inclined to participate in a situation where couples swap and enjoy eachother. And I respect this. The bottom line is she is my wife foremost, and if we cannot enjoy this for the betterment of our relationship there is no point in doing it.

Really what I need is some good solid advice from someone who knows where we are at and what we are going through. And hopefully by my asking this question, I can gain great insight from you with regard as to how to slowly, correctly, and honestly go into this with as few bumps in the road as possible.

Thank you very much for reading this, and I wish you a blessed day.

Answer
Hi Juan
Thanks for allowing me to help you with your questions.
After reading your letter i am thinking that your wife is one very lucky lady.
It seems you both have the communication necessary to be able to explore the lifestyle in a wonderful and connected way together.
Now the answer to your question:
Swinging is about YOU both the couple, never about one or the other.
It is about exploring desires and fantasies with eachother and not about one person wanting to explore alone. So you seem to have that all sorted.
This is what we tell our patrons on a tour and on our site so i feel it is necessary to share this with you.
You are starting a journey of fullfilment, at anytime you feel that journey is in jeopardy of failing and you are not communicating anymore STOP. Never is it about the other couple or single, you never have to explain to anyone why you say NO or Stop even if it is in the middle of play. If either or both of you have any concerns, or get a "niggle" in the tummy it is simply not right..so STOP and leave together.
Having sex with others should never be so important to either or both of you that you "ignore" your own partner whilst playing. Of course unless you do seperate room swapping, which is very rare these days.
There have been occassions where my hubby is having sex with the other guys wife with a nice hardone..if you know what i mean, and i am getting the soft end of the deal. When this happens, my hubby would stop and come to me, and say to the other guy, sorry mate it is not all about your misses, but about mine too, so you go to your wife and let me look after mine.lol
You see it is simply not that important. You must also remember that there is a big difference in Having sex and Making love.
We simply Fuck others, but make love with eachother.
No conncections at all to the other people, or person, they are simply a tool in our journey on our own desires.
Can i suggest clubs are the best place to go to seek this fun.
So your research, make sure they are clean and not overwhelmed with single guys.
Sometimes going to someones house is a little off putting , cause you feel you cannot escape if you want to, where as in a club, you can simply move on to the next couple and chat etc.

Read the rest here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/2009/2/Couple-Considering-Swinging.htm

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Swingers on Life of Mars

A few Blogs ago I talked about an episode of CSI that upset me over there pretrial of Swingers... In that posting I mentioned that the TV series Life of Mars would be doing a show that had a focus of swingers / wife swapping… I am very please to say that Life of Mars was good… Since it is based back in 1973 the depiction of Swingers seemed true to form. It’s is a bit before my time however from the studies of the lifestyle it seems to be true to the history. When they broke out the bowl for car keys I had to laugh… that seemed a common theme back then – attend a party, drop your keys in a bowl and later the wives would reach in the bowl and grab a set of keys and then go to a room with the owner of those keys. Truly a wife swapping adventure… In my opinion things and thinking has progressed since then but even in that reflection of history they had rules of swinging. It was quite refreshing to see the writers include that fact. Again the motive for Murder was Jealousy; because the husband broke the number one rule don’t fall in Love. Emotions can be a powerful thing and TV does stress the extremes so this angle doesn’t bother me in the least. If you are new or a longtime member of the Swinglifestyle jealousy can and probably will arise. It is the communication that you and your spouse share that will help you deal with any issues that come up. So the question might be is it really worth it to get involved in the Swinglifestyle? I say most definitely if your relationship is strong and you communicated with your spouse the closeness you can achieve far outweighs any isolated instant of jealousy that would come up.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Don't let the church goers fool you

here is an article we came across on Porn in the US.

Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers
16:18 27 February 2009 by Ewen Callaway

Americans may paint themselves in increasingly bright shades of red and blue, but new research finds one thing that varies little across the nation: the liking for online pornography.

A new nationwide study (pdf) of anonymised credit-card receipts from a major online adult entertainment provider finds little variation in consumption between states.

"When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different," says Benjamin Edelman at Harvard Business School.

However, there are some trends to be seen in the data. Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study finds.

"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," Edelman says.

Political divide
Edelman spends part of his time helping companies such as Microsoft and AOL detect advertising fraud. Another consulting client runs dozens of adult websites, though he says he is not at liberty to identify the firm.

That company did, however, provide Edelman with roughly two years of credit card data from 2006 to 2008 that included a purchase date and each customer's postal code.

After controlling for differences in broadband internet access between states – online porn tends to be a bandwidth hog – and adjusting for population, he found a relatively small difference between states with the most adult purchases and those with the fewest.

The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users; Montana bought the least with 1.92 per 1000. "The differences here are not so stark," Edelman says.

Number 10 on the list was West Virginia at 2.94 subscriptions per 1000, while number 41, Michigan, averaged 2.32.

Eight of the top 10 pornography consuming states gave their electoral votes to John McCain in last year's presidential election – Florida and Hawaii were the exceptions. While six out of the lowest 10 favoured Barack Obama.

read the rest here: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

one Bad Experience isn't the end

We came across this posting of a Q & A and thought we would share it with you... As our experience with wife swapping and playing in the swinglifestyle has shown that the rules you set between you and your spouse govern the joy you'll experience...

Expert: Analisa - 3/3/2009

Question
Ok so my husband and I have talked over and over about being with other people, becoming a swinging couple and we established rules, talked openly about it. We both agree that swinging is a different lifestyle and as for our relationship we are confidant that we can handle it as we agreed it really is about sex and pleasure, the love is reserved just for us. Here is the problem. We recently went to a resort that was well just very open minded. So as we met more people and got to know them, I found a guy that I thought might be a new experience. So my husband and I decided that we will try that. It was just me and the other guy at the time as my husband and I talked that let me try it on my own so I can see how comfortable I was with being with another man. So I went back to this guys room, started fooling around and then the tables turned and he decided that we was more into another aspect of sex that I was not ready for and so I left. I actually felt really used and we didn't even get to the actual sex part. I want to continue this lifestyle but now I know my husband and I went about it the wrong way. So my question is really how do you recover from a bad first experience and still try to find the fun in swinging???

Answer
Christina,

For starters we suggest you re-think your 'rules' (BTW-they should be flexible enough that you two can change them as needed). One of our primary 'rules' is we never separate or "swing alone". We are in this because we both enjoy seeing the other enjoying themselves and it helps if we can each keep an eye out for each other.

Our next suggestion, is just keep trying, not everyone out there is like that guy and there are many fun COUPLES out there to party with.

Also we suggest avoiding the single guys until you two are a bit more experienced and definitely not ever alone! Single guys are a dime a dozen and have nothing at stake. It is very hard to find respectful ones who will listen to what you are wanting and keep it to just that.

Finally, we recommend that you make certain the other party/parties involved understand your ground rules and exactly what you are expecting. This serves two purposes, the first is everyone know where they stand and what to expect; and secondly it prevents most nasty surprises or unpleasant/uncomfortable situations.

Hope this helps,
Analisa

read more Q&A's here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/2009/3/Bad-Experience.htm

Monday, March 9, 2009

The hunt for the golden unicorn

A lot of couples search for that single bi female to join them in a hot threesome. For many it is their first experience in the swinglifestyle or at least what they want as their first experience. How do you find this mystical creature the golden unicorn a single bi female? Some try bars others try friends, this can be very dangerous for some couples. My husband and I have played with a few bi girlfriends and have found several things to be careful of. If you as a couple are thinking of entering the swinglifestyle and want to add the golden unicorn to your relationship we suggest a couple of things to ask yourselves.
1. Do each of us want to do this?
2. Is this a one time thing or do we want to have an ongoing relationship?
3. Can we handle any Jealousy issues that come up?
4. What if she likes one of us more than the other?

We have found that the hunt for a single bi female can be very exhausting and most of the time not really worth the headache. Playing with other couples in the swinglifestyle has been more rewarding than our experiences with any golden unicorn. Even our experience with single males has been less of a challenge. With all that being said we are not against single bi females we have found the best place to meet them is through an online personals site. Chat with them get a feel of the personality you are thinking about inviting into your bedroom. It has been our experience now our rule that a one time thing is best, no on-going relationship. Be open-minded think about inviting a couple who is looking for the same thing and that you get along with to come play with you, start of with soft swap before moving into full swap. Communicate with each other... Talk about your feeling... Jealousy issues will come up it is how you address them and handle them that matters. The Swinglifestyle can be extremely fun and rewarding... The play time you share can bring you closer together as long as you are open with each other.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

How Swingers are portrayed, or how the media gets it wrong again.

The other day I was watching an old episode of CSI and it was focused on a group of Swingers. Needless to say, the writers got it wrong. It pisses me off every time I see some TV show on us, and it's wrong. Case in point, in the CSI episode they we’re all neighbors. DUH! I have never seen, nor would we ever have a situation where we play with our neighbors. The very idea brings up all sorts of dynamics that are troubling at the very least. Second the characters were just that; characters- shadows of reality… they reflected some resemblance of actual people we have meet yet they were more like those carnival drawings you get ; an exaggeration of the truth and a poor one at that. At best caricatures. Third (and the one that got me) is that the killing took place over a jealousy issue because one husband was having sex with another couples 15 year old daughter (It was the daughter that killed her mom when she saw her playing with her lover.) I could understand the jealousy issue. Emotions can be a powerful thing but what got me was the underage child. Sure as swingers we are more Open-minded but we're not Child molesters. The majority of us have children and are damn good parents at that. This comparison is like saying homosexuals should not be near kids because they’ll try to have sex with them or make them gay. Now I will say that I saw another episode of CSI: NY and it was about a threesome couple (two women and one Male) in that episode one of the females killed the guy because she always came second. That one was believable and didn't piss me off, but it did make me flinch.
I am a glutton for punishment. This week Life on Mars is going to be about a bunch of Swingers and I will be glued to the TV to see their take on it. Hopefully those writers will it more right than wrong, we’ll see. The jury is still out.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Another take on Vanilla Friends

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Reported by ABC NEWS

Kinky Sex Is on the Rise, Therapists Say

Sexual Fetishes, Sadomasochism, Bondage, Swinging, Even Bestiality: Is it the Internet?
By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES
Feb. 11, 2009

Eroticism is in the eye of the beholder. In Japan, some women turn to electrically charged squid for sexual satisfaction. In the American world of masochism, one man begged to be tied on a spit and roasted over sizzling coals. His counterpart, a latex-loving dominatrix, reached ecstasy merely watching his pain.

What is abnormal may not necessarily be unnatural, according to sexologists who study the outer limits of the human psyche.

And, increasingly, as seen in a plethora of new books and films -- not to mention thousands of sites on the Internet -- kinky sex is getting more attention.
To badly paraphrase Alfred Kinsey, [who pioneered sex research in the 1940s and 50s, filming couples in flagrante in his Indiana attic], 'the only unnatural sex act is the one you can't perform,'" said Robert Dunlap, a California sex therapist and filmmaker.

Paraphilias -- or socially unacceptable sexual practices -- are more common than most ordinary "vanilla" teleiophiles [those who desire adults] would imagine, according to Dr. Judy Kariansky, a sex therapist from Columbia University.

Read the Full Article here: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/story?id=6839410&page=1

Monday, March 2, 2009

Interested Blog we came across

This is someones view's on Swinging, Not necessarily our view's on Swinging we just found it interesting.

Friday, January 9, 2009
The Non-swinger's Guidelines on Swinging
I have to make this post before backing up to finish my ER post. I have come across a link for swingers which I guess someone in the house was interested in.

All this notice about swinging. It's like some kind of fad or something. My opinion, is that most people don't really "get" what swinging is. Maybe the rules have changed, but in order to distinguish a swinger from a non-swinger, these are my guidelines...

A "swinger" is NOT an excuse to be a cheater. Nice try guys and gals, but it doesn't count. A swinger isn't someone who is in a committed relationship who keeps his "swinging" or her "swinging" a secret. That's just plain old cheating.

A swinger is not a single person who just dates and screws a lot of people either. I don't know if some people think it's a fashionable upgrade (or to some people, downgrade) to good old-fashioned dating and playing the game, but it's not. Being promiscuous is not the same as being a swinger.

A swinger, in my defition, or category, is someone who is in a committed relationship with ONE other or maybe multiple others, who all know they are in a committed type of relationship, whether it's two of them or three of them or four. But the committment thing is a requirement. Also required, is full honesty. A swinger is honest with their partner about swinging and their partner agrees and is okay with it, whether they are personally a swinger or not, if they allow their partner to swing, they could be deemed an enabling swinger by proxy I think.

A swinger is honest with the other, "new" people who are brought into the little swinging relationship. A swinger doesn't have a partnership with someone and then bring unsuspecting, unknowing people into it, who think one or both individuals is single and uncommitted and a potential longer-term partner. A swinger doesn't "hunt" for people to screw on the side with just the consent and agreement of their partner, they are honest and open with all parties, period. Anything less is totally unethical.

If a swinger wants to be with someone who is NOT known to be a swinger, they should state their orientation and make sure it is okay with the person from the start. If the non-swinger doesn't want to go that way, at least they had a choice and were made aware of the circumstances. If the person DOES want to try something new, that's their choice and up to them--I'm sure there are a lot of people who WOULD be into trying it out (I am NOT one of them).

Hiding a swinging lifestyle or orientation from someone who isn't into the lifestyle is completely dishonest, unethical, and potentially grounds for a lawsuit. I'm not even kidding. It's like fraud and comes with sexual risks and health risks many people would not be willing to accept.

Swinging can be between any type of committed partnership, but I see some kind of complicity as key, and honesty is always foremost.

There are tons of new swinging clubs (which I've heard plenty about) and groups and people all around who do this and are into it, and it's increasing in popularity I think, as is group sex and a number of other things.

If you are a swinger, don't even think about bringing someone unsuspecting into your game, because in one way or the other, you will be screwed (not in a good way) in the end. It's dishonest, immoral, and unethical, and if that person ever gets an STD from you, there are major grounds for a lawsuit. Not to mentioned how you might be reamed on a public blog about your activities and dishonesty.

Read the Rest here: http://cameogarrett.blogspot.com/2009/01/non-swingers-guidelines-on-swinging.html

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Swing Break

This is just a notice to let you now that the annual Swing Break is coming up in Florida. It is sure to be a blast...
here is a brief Idea from their website check it out:

Welcome! Swing Break is an idea that came about when playmates met to have fun in South Florida. We have no club, no membership dues, and no permanent location, though Hollywood, Florida is a favorite hangout. We are from New Hampshire, Maine, the Virgin Islands, Florida, and many other places.

We'll be back in S. Florida in May of 2009, with an even better party weekend than the one in 2008! Dates will be May 1-3, though you can cum early and stay late! We have some great parties planned - at the Rooftop (with discounts offered), Harrison's and Deenie's - and will have package and pricing info up soon. Transportation will be provided by Globe Limos, and will be included in the packages. Sign up to be notified when we post more information.