here is nice Q&A we came across that addresses the lifestyle being a joint thing and that you should never force your partner to do something they don't want to...
Adult Swinging - Adult swinging
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Expert: Leesa - 4/2/2009
Question
Hi i am married for a couple of years and we love each other.My wife used to have great sex curiosity which is dying now.I have observed when she chat online she gets hot.While doing sex i talk about other guys and she likes it but asks me if i can handle it.I want her to drink,smoke and expose herself in sexy clothes,go to nightclubs.How should i make her agree on this?
Answer
Hi
Thanks for your question.
I must say that you should never try and MAKE your wife do anything she doesnt want to do.
Our lifestyle is about communication and understanding and respect.
If you force your wife into doing something that she does not want to do you will destroy what you have.
Can i suggest you go to the chatroom and participate with your wife, have sex on cam maybe , join her with her fantasties while she is on cam, i find this really hot and it is very harmless if done together.
Then go from there, take it step by step, talk and commmunicate and watch the boundries change slowly over time.
hope that helps
Leesa
read more on the swinglifestyle here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Entertaining at Home?
Here is a question that seems to come up a lot. Should we entertain at our Home?
This is truly a personal decision and there are a lot of factors you should take into consideration.
1. Do you have kids at Home?
Regarding kids: This can be a touchy subject some couples have no problem inviting others over to play with their kids at home while others would never dream of it. If you are comfortable with the idea of inviting play mates over with your kids at home make sure the people you are inviting are comfortable with it too. Or play when the kids are away i.e. school, sleepovers, grandparents or whatever. The majority of people we know like to keep their playtime away from their kids even though this can limit the amount of playtime due to babysitter issues they would rather play less than run the risk of having their child or their play mates’ children walking in on some fun activities.
2. Do you know the people you are inviting into your home?
Again this is a personal comfort level thing. Some people have no problem inviting others into their home after a bit of conversation online. However personally we are a more cautious and prefer to have the first face to face meeting in a public place. (Nightclub, bar, swing event, hell even Denny’s will do) this is something we have just made a rule if we haven’t met in person you aren’t coming into our home. By having a safe location to meet we can see how all of us feel and if the comfort level is there. With that being said we usually don’t invite them into our home right away if we feel like playing we’ll get a room or something. We find that this removes all the pressure that one could feel over having someone (s) in your home that you don’t want to play with but you invited them over and now they are sitting on your couch going nudge nudge wink wink and your left going aaahhh fuck.
3. Is it for a party or a more personal setting?
COMFORT LEVEL HELLO: A party is a sure way to measure your comfort level… This could sound like a lot of fun and end up being more than you bargained for… We strongly recommend that you attend a couple of house parties before entertaining the idea of throwing one yourselves. Don’t get us wrong we are not putting down house parties they can be a blast, but if you have never been to a few of them you could be in for a wild ride… no we aren’t saying it is like something out of animal house were you house will be completely trashed most people are very respectful of the home they are in. You could have a party where nothing happens or a party where you are going is there a surface in my house that hasn’t seen a butt cheek… AS FOR MORE PERSONAL SETTINGS: these have been some of the best experiences we have had in the lifestyle. Just a friend or two, three, four over for some drinks and a dip in the Jacuzzi… I will leave it at that before the memories over take me.
4. If it is a Party what about your neighbors?
If you are considering throwing a house party you probably want to take a second and think about your neighbors… Are they close? Are they nosy? Will they come over? Will they call the police? These are just a couple of thoughts that you should have beforehand that might save you from explaining those people having sex on your living room floor… A few minutes telling your neighbors that you are having a private party might save you headache in the future. Let them know there might be a lot of cars parked out front, that you will try and keep the noise down. I guess you really have to figure out if your home and/or neighborhood is a place to have a party. Again attend a few house parties first get a feel on how it is done. See what works best, what you liked what you didn’t like. Who knows you could end up being the hottest new meeting place in your area…
Whether you are curious about wife swapping or have been in the Swinglifestyle for awhile the one thing that we have found is that good communication and maintaining our comfort level is a must in order to truly enjoy this lifestyle. Playing at your home might not be for you or it might be the most comfortable place to play. Experiment try new things but talk to each other about them you might find that some things aren’t for you while others are a perfect fit.
This is truly a personal decision and there are a lot of factors you should take into consideration.
1. Do you have kids at Home?
Regarding kids: This can be a touchy subject some couples have no problem inviting others over to play with their kids at home while others would never dream of it. If you are comfortable with the idea of inviting play mates over with your kids at home make sure the people you are inviting are comfortable with it too. Or play when the kids are away i.e. school, sleepovers, grandparents or whatever. The majority of people we know like to keep their playtime away from their kids even though this can limit the amount of playtime due to babysitter issues they would rather play less than run the risk of having their child or their play mates’ children walking in on some fun activities.
2. Do you know the people you are inviting into your home?
Again this is a personal comfort level thing. Some people have no problem inviting others into their home after a bit of conversation online. However personally we are a more cautious and prefer to have the first face to face meeting in a public place. (Nightclub, bar, swing event, hell even Denny’s will do) this is something we have just made a rule if we haven’t met in person you aren’t coming into our home. By having a safe location to meet we can see how all of us feel and if the comfort level is there. With that being said we usually don’t invite them into our home right away if we feel like playing we’ll get a room or something. We find that this removes all the pressure that one could feel over having someone (s) in your home that you don’t want to play with but you invited them over and now they are sitting on your couch going nudge nudge wink wink and your left going aaahhh fuck.
3. Is it for a party or a more personal setting?
COMFORT LEVEL HELLO: A party is a sure way to measure your comfort level… This could sound like a lot of fun and end up being more than you bargained for… We strongly recommend that you attend a couple of house parties before entertaining the idea of throwing one yourselves. Don’t get us wrong we are not putting down house parties they can be a blast, but if you have never been to a few of them you could be in for a wild ride… no we aren’t saying it is like something out of animal house were you house will be completely trashed most people are very respectful of the home they are in. You could have a party where nothing happens or a party where you are going is there a surface in my house that hasn’t seen a butt cheek… AS FOR MORE PERSONAL SETTINGS: these have been some of the best experiences we have had in the lifestyle. Just a friend or two, three, four over for some drinks and a dip in the Jacuzzi… I will leave it at that before the memories over take me.
4. If it is a Party what about your neighbors?
If you are considering throwing a house party you probably want to take a second and think about your neighbors… Are they close? Are they nosy? Will they come over? Will they call the police? These are just a couple of thoughts that you should have beforehand that might save you from explaining those people having sex on your living room floor… A few minutes telling your neighbors that you are having a private party might save you headache in the future. Let them know there might be a lot of cars parked out front, that you will try and keep the noise down. I guess you really have to figure out if your home and/or neighborhood is a place to have a party. Again attend a few house parties first get a feel on how it is done. See what works best, what you liked what you didn’t like. Who knows you could end up being the hottest new meeting place in your area…
Whether you are curious about wife swapping or have been in the Swinglifestyle for awhile the one thing that we have found is that good communication and maintaining our comfort level is a must in order to truly enjoy this lifestyle. Playing at your home might not be for you or it might be the most comfortable place to play. Experiment try new things but talk to each other about them you might find that some things aren’t for you while others are a perfect fit.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
So you’re going out Mom & Dad huh
OK here is the situation you and your spouse are planning a night out you’re heading out to a swing event some swinger club is putting on what do you tell your kids or better yet how do you handle explaining the clothes your wearing… Let’s just say it is Pimp and Ho night… what do you do? After all you’re not going to tell them you’re in the Swinglifestyle right.
It’s not Halloween how do you explain the outfits or what do you do to avoid explaining anything…
Our kids are getting at that age where they are starting to know more about life which seems to keep getting younger and younger… How do we handle a night out?
First there is the whole babysitter thing… Finding one scheduling one and getting everything set with that. Then there is the outfits or should I say my wife’s outfit … lol the shoes alone seems to take hours and the mix n match game of how does this look… I know it sounds cliché but I swear it happens in every home across America if not the world…
Well from our experience and many others we have talked to here are some ideas and ways of handling a night out.
We have tried the “Oh we have to go to a party for Daddy and/or Mommy work”… depending on the event this one can work.
The one that we have found that works the best for us is Date Night… this is where we set up a regular schedule of evening outings, Not necessarily Lifestyle events just a regular time when me and the wife go out could be dinner and a movie, Vegas, a club, meeting some friends, or a Swing Club… By having a regular thing the kids suspect less cause it is normal for mommy and daddy to go out.
The other thing we try and do is get dressed elsewhere… Sure we have to pick out the clothes before hand and I highly recommend that you do to… let her play how does this look and TAKE A BAG of options… I remember going out one time and we were going to be Austin Powers and a Femme Bot well when she got dressed it was a resounding HELL NO I’M NOT WEARING THIS… so again take a bag of options… it will cost less in the end…
Now you can get dressed at a gas station but depending on the neighborhood you could have some interesting explaining to do… What we and many other have found is the simplest solution usually works best get a Hotel Room… plus this gives you a place to play later… if the night goes well you can have some fun wife swapping adventure…
Of course you could tell them you are swingers but I don’t really know any couples that do this. It’s not really being dishonest it more being protective. Arguments can go both ways on this and even though we have no shame in what we do we still feel the need to protect our kid’s innocence at least for now.
It’s not Halloween how do you explain the outfits or what do you do to avoid explaining anything…
Our kids are getting at that age where they are starting to know more about life which seems to keep getting younger and younger… How do we handle a night out?
First there is the whole babysitter thing… Finding one scheduling one and getting everything set with that. Then there is the outfits or should I say my wife’s outfit … lol the shoes alone seems to take hours and the mix n match game of how does this look… I know it sounds cliché but I swear it happens in every home across America if not the world…
Well from our experience and many others we have talked to here are some ideas and ways of handling a night out.
We have tried the “Oh we have to go to a party for Daddy and/or Mommy work”… depending on the event this one can work.
The one that we have found that works the best for us is Date Night… this is where we set up a regular schedule of evening outings, Not necessarily Lifestyle events just a regular time when me and the wife go out could be dinner and a movie, Vegas, a club, meeting some friends, or a Swing Club… By having a regular thing the kids suspect less cause it is normal for mommy and daddy to go out.
The other thing we try and do is get dressed elsewhere… Sure we have to pick out the clothes before hand and I highly recommend that you do to… let her play how does this look and TAKE A BAG of options… I remember going out one time and we were going to be Austin Powers and a Femme Bot well when she got dressed it was a resounding HELL NO I’M NOT WEARING THIS… so again take a bag of options… it will cost less in the end…
Now you can get dressed at a gas station but depending on the neighborhood you could have some interesting explaining to do… What we and many other have found is the simplest solution usually works best get a Hotel Room… plus this gives you a place to play later… if the night goes well you can have some fun wife swapping adventure…
Of course you could tell them you are swingers but I don’t really know any couples that do this. It’s not really being dishonest it more being protective. Arguments can go both ways on this and even though we have no shame in what we do we still feel the need to protect our kid’s innocence at least for now.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
One Blog to Follow...
We came across this Blog and highly recommend following this one. Read this little interview to see what we mean.
Swing Blog Tour - An Interview with Jolie du Pre
Posted in Blog Tour, Swing Anthology, adult on April 1st, 2009 by swingant
Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today’s Top Erotica Writers is edited by Jolie du Pre and published by Logical-Lust. The official release date for this exciting swinging erotica anthology is April 24, 2009. It includes 25 stories by 25 of today’s top erotica writers.
Our first BLOG TOUR stop is with the founder and editor of Swing! - Jolie du Pre.
1. Why do you write erotica and what do you love best about it?
I write erotica because I like to write, and because I enjoy and appreciate sex. I love it when an author can create a sexual situation, yet at the same time, tell a story. The first erotica book that I remember reading, at 16, was Nin’s Delta of Venus. The most scandalous, that I read around the same age, was Hollander’s The Happy Hooker.
2. Tell us about your story in Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today’s Top Erotica Writers and please feel free to give us an excerpt.
Two of the main characters in my story are a couple that are being forced out of the small town where they live because they’ve been operating a swing club out of their home. It’s not that it’s against the law for them to have the club, it’s that some of the religious members of the community want them out. My tale looks at what can happen when you come face to face with your persecutors.
She’s standing at the meat counter, talking to a woman. I can hear her all the way in produce.
“Everyone is in agreement. We’ve won!”
“Sodom and Gomorrah! The sooner we shut them down the better this town will be.”
I grab the bag of oranges and hurry over to check-out. The last thing I need is to run into Shirley. She’d have no qualms about attacking me right in the middle of the grocery store.
Inside our house, my husband Dave is on his computer. Ever since we learned what the town is up to, he has put his focus on getting us out of here.
“It’s all set! I’ll be working with my brother when we move to Chicago. He’s rented the space. All we have to do now is move in.”
I grew up in a small town, where everyone knew everyone else. I’m used to that. Dave grew up in the city and only agreed to live in a small town due to the job offer here. He could deal with Chicago. As for me, I’m not so sure.
“I saw Shirley in the grocery store, talking to someone about us. She’s all fired up that our club may close.”
“Honey, the town has us by the balls. Not much we can do about it anymore. This is the wrong place for our club. We were crazy to think nobody in the town would find out about it. We’ll start fresh in Chicago.”
Dave had taken the stress of the situation and turned it into a positive. But it was a lot harder for me.
“I gotta go to work. I’ll see you tonight.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll be okay.”
“Good.” He grabs some keys. “I’ll take the truck. See ya.”
I put the oranges in the refrigerator and then walk into the bedroom. Why should I leave? We have every right to be here like everyone else. I fall on the bed, face down.
Shirley. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just her. She’s just the ring leader. And boy did she work hard. She must have spent six months gathering signatures, holding town meetings, sending us letters to let us know that what we do is not welcome.
Honest sex. That’s what swinging is. Honest sex. What’s so wrong with that? Our club is small—just the two rooms and the room with the hot tub. Our crowd is small. It’s not like the entire town is swinging. We mind our own business. Yet, Shirley is determined for us to close.
I turn and lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I can see lots of dead bugs inside the ceiling light. Ever since this thing had gone down, cleaning has not been on the top of my list. I spend a lot of time wallowing in self pity. Just mustering enough motivation to get the basics done takes work. Like the post office. I really need to go to the post office.
I pull myself off the bed and gather the bills that I had been meaning to mail. This is my job, and Dave wouldn’t be too happy with me for being so lazy lately.
there is more check it out at : http://swinganthology.com/
Swing Blog Tour - An Interview with Jolie du Pre
Posted in Blog Tour, Swing Anthology, adult on April 1st, 2009 by swingant
Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today’s Top Erotica Writers is edited by Jolie du Pre and published by Logical-Lust. The official release date for this exciting swinging erotica anthology is April 24, 2009. It includes 25 stories by 25 of today’s top erotica writers.
Our first BLOG TOUR stop is with the founder and editor of Swing! - Jolie du Pre.
1. Why do you write erotica and what do you love best about it?
I write erotica because I like to write, and because I enjoy and appreciate sex. I love it when an author can create a sexual situation, yet at the same time, tell a story. The first erotica book that I remember reading, at 16, was Nin’s Delta of Venus. The most scandalous, that I read around the same age, was Hollander’s The Happy Hooker.
2. Tell us about your story in Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today’s Top Erotica Writers and please feel free to give us an excerpt.
Two of the main characters in my story are a couple that are being forced out of the small town where they live because they’ve been operating a swing club out of their home. It’s not that it’s against the law for them to have the club, it’s that some of the religious members of the community want them out. My tale looks at what can happen when you come face to face with your persecutors.
She’s standing at the meat counter, talking to a woman. I can hear her all the way in produce.
“Everyone is in agreement. We’ve won!”
“Sodom and Gomorrah! The sooner we shut them down the better this town will be.”
I grab the bag of oranges and hurry over to check-out. The last thing I need is to run into Shirley. She’d have no qualms about attacking me right in the middle of the grocery store.
Inside our house, my husband Dave is on his computer. Ever since we learned what the town is up to, he has put his focus on getting us out of here.
“It’s all set! I’ll be working with my brother when we move to Chicago. He’s rented the space. All we have to do now is move in.”
I grew up in a small town, where everyone knew everyone else. I’m used to that. Dave grew up in the city and only agreed to live in a small town due to the job offer here. He could deal with Chicago. As for me, I’m not so sure.
“I saw Shirley in the grocery store, talking to someone about us. She’s all fired up that our club may close.”
“Honey, the town has us by the balls. Not much we can do about it anymore. This is the wrong place for our club. We were crazy to think nobody in the town would find out about it. We’ll start fresh in Chicago.”
Dave had taken the stress of the situation and turned it into a positive. But it was a lot harder for me.
“I gotta go to work. I’ll see you tonight.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll be okay.”
“Good.” He grabs some keys. “I’ll take the truck. See ya.”
I put the oranges in the refrigerator and then walk into the bedroom. Why should I leave? We have every right to be here like everyone else. I fall on the bed, face down.
Shirley. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just her. She’s just the ring leader. And boy did she work hard. She must have spent six months gathering signatures, holding town meetings, sending us letters to let us know that what we do is not welcome.
Honest sex. That’s what swinging is. Honest sex. What’s so wrong with that? Our club is small—just the two rooms and the room with the hot tub. Our crowd is small. It’s not like the entire town is swinging. We mind our own business. Yet, Shirley is determined for us to close.
I turn and lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I can see lots of dead bugs inside the ceiling light. Ever since this thing had gone down, cleaning has not been on the top of my list. I spend a lot of time wallowing in self pity. Just mustering enough motivation to get the basics done takes work. Like the post office. I really need to go to the post office.
I pull myself off the bed and gather the bills that I had been meaning to mail. This is my job, and Dave wouldn’t be too happy with me for being so lazy lately.
there is more check it out at : http://swinganthology.com/
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