Don’t you hate labels…? We went out the other night and meet this fun couple and as the conversation progressed. It became obvious that they were kind of new to the lifestyle. Still feeling it out seeing what works for them and what doesn’t. Been there done that hell I think we are still doing it. Anyway as we talked they stated “well we were talking with them but they seem like hardcore swingers”. Cause for Pause… Warning lights… Wondering at this point how will we be perceived? Do we tell them how long we have been in the Swinglifestyle? Do we tell them we own a Swingers / Adult social networking site? Here is where the different personalities come into play. Meaning my wife’s and mine… She is a little more sensitive to things like this, I guess she cares what others think of her or it could come down to that thinking of I might be wild in the bedroom but don’t call me a ho or a slut in public. I don’t know. I on the other hand could give a shit what others say I am a freak, a sexual addict I know it and accept it. So… however this is a marriage and we do communicate and after all this time there is that level of non verbal communication that happens in situations like these. Let’s be honest I tend to let her take the lead in these conversations cause I will and usually say something that could cause a problem.
So I guess it comes down to the fact of how we see ourselves do we consider ourselves soft-core or hardcore swingers. Let’s not get this confused with soft swap or full swap that is two different things altogether. The one thing we have learned is that this definition is different for everybody. Example: even after being in the lifestyle for the last 10 years, owning our own site, we still consider ourselves soft-core swingers. Why? Because we don’t go out all the time, we still meet first and see if there is a connection first before we play, we still use protection, and we don’t play separately these are just some of the things that to us define us as soft-core. Yet someone else could easily see us as hardcore swingers. Saying well we’re not into wife swapping just girl play and any number of other reasons.
How did the night end up? Well we didn’t play with them but that doesn’t mean much cause like we stated we rarely do on the first meeting. We talked, danced and the girls made out with each other so it looks pretty good that we will have some new friends to play with. How did they perceive us? Well we will never truly know however like in most cases we tend to fear the worst reaction and receive the best or at least a better one. Keep in mind newbie’s want to learn and even though they might have fear or reservations of hardcore swingers experienced couples are a good guide on how to have a successful time in the Swinglifestyle. Nothing is wrong with being a hardcore swinger or a soft-core swinger it comes down to what you feel comfortable with and remember someone is always going to view you in a different light. I guess it comes down to what Shakespeare put best - “to thy own self be true …” and screw everyone else. The screw everyone else part I added, Shakespeare would have said “ fuckth the lot” or something like that. You think Shakespeare was a swinger?
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