You’re going to put What in!

Ok this one might offend some people, but it is something we have to share. It isn’t our intent to isolate some people or say that what they did / do is wrong. I guess it is more of a case of timing or consideration. If you are into Wife Swapping or are in the Swinglifestyle you’ll find all sorts of different things or behavior and we aren’t judging or saying that one is right or another is wrong, but some things are worth sharing. This is one of them.

Let’s back up and I’ll explain what the hell this is all about. We had been talking with this couple online for a little while and everyone seemed to be getting along so we decided to meet at a club. The night started off great. They showed up, we showed up – and that in and of itself is a plus. We found a table; got some drinks, all the normal small talk “wow you do look like your pictures” “it is good to see that they weren’t from 10yrs ago”. The girls hit it off and the guy didn’t seem creepy or pushy. Just down to earth real people, they seemed to be a loving couple. Balanced if you will... We danced and flirted for the next few hours. My wife and I took a moment to ourselves to talk to see how each other felt about them and we both gave the green light. This is something that is rare because we usually just meet first then go home and talk to see if we want to play with them or not. So when they invited us back to their place we said sure let’s go. Again, everything was going great they had a clean house, no kids sleeping in the next room. We had a couple of drinks and talked for a few minutes then the girls started to kiss and then she led us off to the bedroom.

Clothes are starting to come off and get more heated. The girls are playing with each other while the guys are rubbing and caressing the girls. Now without sounding conceited we are a good looking couple, no we aren’t models but we aren’t livestock either. So the thing that happened next kind of took me off guard. The guy gets up and goes and puts in a porno. He then sits in a chair and proceeds to watch this movie. Now I enjoy a good porno just as much as the next guy, but you have a real life sex show right in front of you. WTF… Sure we don’t mind playing with your wife without you, if you’re going to give us the go ahead. But if you’re going to stop and watch a porno to get aroused to come back and join the party then you might want to look into getting some Viagra. I mean it is one thing to put in the video before the playing starts as kind of a mood setter, but to get up in the middle of playing huh. I mean as a guy I thought this was strange but females can be sensitive to shit like this. Their heads start to run with thoughts of “what is wrong with me”, “He didn’t find me attractive”.

We had great time with his wife and when he came back he was kind of a fourth wheel in a three wheel situation. We will probably never play with them again, it was just too strange. Now that is saying something considering the various things we have done/ tried. Well it’s more of an awkward thing. This is something that could have easily been avoided by putting in the video earlier. Just one more example of someone self-obsessed meaning not considering the other people in the room. The one thing you have to keep in mind if you are going to be in the Swinglifestyle is that it is a group thing. It isn’t just about you take a moment to consider the people around and with you.

Single Male looking for Couples

There must be millions of them in the lifestyle all looking to live out some porno fantasy of a MFM. Yet the majority of couples’s profiles say “NO SINGLE MALES.” or “Single Guys We will contact you if we are interested.” So what is a guy to do? As a couple in the Swinglifestyle that actually plays with single males on occasion we have some suggestions.

Ok first let us say we have been talking with this one guy recently and are considering meeting to see how things go. Considering the number of emails we get from single guys even going through them seems a task in and of itself. To find one that seems a match what we look for in a single guy actually it is amazing. Even for me the guy of this relationship it’s like cool - this one might work.

Which brings us to some helpful tips: First, just don’t look at the pictures Guys read the couples profile see what they are looking for, see if you are a match, see if they even want an email from you, if not then move on. Second, say something intelligent “let’s fuck”, “you’re Hot”, “let’s get together”, “Nice Tits and/or Ass”, “Would Love to taste you” these aren’t going to get you very far. You have read their profile now respond to what they said, type a few sentences it doesn’t need to be a book just something that shows you can read and write carry on a conversation. Third, Attach a face photo if you really have to then also attach a crotch shot if you really feel the need. Let me just say my wife has never said that is a dick I have to get with she will usually say well what does he look like. You might be proud of your penis, hell I know I am, but the couples that will choose you on this only are few and far between.

Now that was just the basics here are some that will really help you. Be respectful remember that there are two people in the couple address both of them not just the wife you are looking to F**k. When we are looking for a single male it is just for some added fun not a replacement for the husband. Not to mention that at least my wife doesn’t want to be addressed in a cheap / rude way. Save the bedroom talk till the right time. Humor helps, say something funny don’t be so serious. Ask questions find out what the couple is into likes, dislikes; basically remember that is not all about your pleasure there are others involved. BE HONEST if you are married tell them. We personally don’t play with married males but we know couples that do. Hell there are couples out there looking for all sorts of things: wife swapping, cuckold experiences, Milf play, or just want to try the MFM experience. There are enough couples out there for you to find what you are looking for. These suggestions should help you in your search and if more single males followed these few guideline, then we – and other couples, might play with them more often.

Are you soft or full Swap?

This is one of the most common questions in the lifestyle. And yes we were faced with it this weekend. We went out to a club and meet this couple and everyone was clicking, which isn’t all that easy in the Swinglifestyle. I mean you can meet a couple and usually one won’t click or be attracted to someone in the group. After all you are dealing with four personalities not two. So when everyone is clicking it a celebration in and of itself. Anyhow, the question came up “are you a soft swap or full swap couple” and the answer for us is both really. No we aren’t fence riders nor are we undecided it’s more of the fact that we hate labels.

Some background history or experience might help. When we started in the Swinglifestyle we were more cautious than some. Our first couple of experiences was with singles not couples and they were fun but again the level of action was still pretty tame, we weren’t sure if we wanted to try wife swapping. We were feeling our way into the lifestyle seeing what we as a couple were comfortable with. Of course there were things I wanted to do that she didn’t and there were things she wanted to try that I was unsure of. The first couple we meet in the lifestyle lived close by and we started talking and going out then that first night of play finally came and we were all having a great time until they wanted to take it further. We naively hadn’t even talked about it the thought of what would happen or what to except or how far to go never came up. Then the female of the other couple asked me to F**k her hard. I have to be honest I went blank. Surprised as I was I looked toward my wife and I could tell this wasn’t the time. She was just as surprised and the flood of emotions had just hit her. At that moment I chose to end the night as delicately as I could which looking back probably wasn’t that smooth since I have no tact. We spent what seemed like a month talking about that night running the full range of emotions, desires, talking over jealousy and everything that make a guy uncomfortable.

As a result of that night we decided to take it slow see how it goes more or less table the full swap and just do soft until both of us were sure. We made a list of guidelines No means no of course, no taking one for the team, talking alone about the people we are looking to play with before to see how each other feels, setting up safe words for not only disinterest but for interest. Over time our rules have evolved as we have but probably the most consistent one is that we talk first.

The choice to be soft or full swap is a very personal one. We have met some couples that jumped right in from their first experience and other that have stayed soft swap. Is there a Right or Wrong way to do this? I think it is a matter of what is right for you as a couple. How did we answer the couple’s question, with our standard “we go with the flow” response. We had a great time in any case. No we don’t consider ourselves experts in swinging we just share our experiences and what works for us. We would be happy to answer any questions you might have email us at admin@winkwinkplayplay.com or check out this site for some great Q&A. http://www.allexperts.com/el/Adult-Swinging/

Vanilla Treats

Halloween Haunts or Halloween Taunts… We have our regular haunts for Halloween like the Halloween Ball in Vegas or some other Swinglifestyle event / club party in Los Angeles which ever sparks or interest or desire. This year however due to our schedules we were unable to really plan a getaway. Me being the OCD stricken member of this relationship usually plans months in advance picking out costumes, ordering them, special workout plans if the costumes require it, making room reservations, travel arrangements, getting friends locked in to go with us, etc… Yeah if you haven’t guessed Halloween is my favorite holiday and just truly fun in a lifestyle environment. The costumes seem to allow others to feel more free open. I guess with the wearing of one mask they feel free to drop all the others.

This year however with no time to plan we ended up accepting an invitation from some Vanilla friends to go to a local nightclub. We did some last minute shopping and threw some costumes together and proceeded to go out. I must admit that I wasn’t too excited about the idea. This is my night after all; how relaxed can I get having to watch what I say or do. Not only are we out with people who aren’t into wife swapping but we are at a club in the same town we live. Our neighbors, people in the community are there one misstep in judgment and there we are exposed as Swingers. No we aren’t ashamed of whom we are… It is kind of a Superman / Clark Kent sort of thing. We dress as Clark Kent during the day to interact with the general population and at night we remove that mask that we wear so we can be who we really are. After all Superman becomes Clark not for himself but for the protection of those closest to him i.e. our kids.

Where the night gets interesting… As the drinks are consumed and the dancing goes on one of Barbie’s girlfriend’s grabs her on the dance floor and begins to kiss her. That is where the thought process starts going into overdrive. First of let me say this friend is Hot… and those looks have been exchanged all night. The comments her and her boyfriend have made make you wonder are they into the lifestyle too. Do they PLAY? After all they are the only other ones that seem to have the costumes that suggest more than a trip to Wal-Mart. Plus comments about the other outfits at home make you go hhmmmmm could they be Swingers too? We hide in plain sight could they be wearing the mask too? How far do we want to take this? Do we want to test the waters? Could this night turn out to be less of a bust than we originally thought? Then another thought hits me… wait a minute girls kissing each other has become fashionable. This is something that is happening in nightclubs all over America with little more than what it is some kissing. Time to do what you normally do and let the girls take the lead and go where the night takes you after all this could be a case of metal masturbation.

Well nothing more happened than making out on the dance floor. Are they closest swinger’s who knows? Considering the time and place it was best to leave it alone. Just another reason why we prefer lifestyle events, you don’t have to worry about any of this stuff it all comes down to if everyone is clicking and the desire is there hell that is hard enough finding four people that click. So I have already started to plan for next year’s party. Ha-ha No more Vanilla clubs for us.