Here is a great Q & A we came across

Adult Swinging - Couple Considering Swinging
Expert: Leesa - 2/25/2009

Question
Dear Leesa,


Hello, and thank you for taking my question. I will try my best not to ramble and give you enough facts to provide you with an idea of what is going on in my marriage. A few months back I noticed my wife seemingly frustrated at home, and acting like she was refraining from telling me something. So, I sat her down, and re-assured her that I loved her, and that I would support her no matter what she had to tell me. She became angry at first, and shut me off for a couple of days, but once she spoke with me again she began opening up to me telling me that she is feeling the desire to explore an open relationship and was worried that this would hurt me. It took me by suprise, but it did not hurt me. I was glad she told me, and I agreed that it might be something worth considering.

Since that time, she has become a completely different person in a very good way. She is very open with me, honest, and tells me everything. The fights we used to have have diminished greatly because there is no longer an elephant in the room that no one is talking about. Our relationship is better in every way. She knows that I love her unconditionally and will never leave her and that she can be completely honest with me without judgement and persecution that all too often is unnecessary.

I tell you all of this on the premise that hopefully now you will understand my complete question. My wife is at a point to where she is willing to begin the exploration of the swinging lifestyle. However, it comes with reservations, mainly unease of the unknown. Her nor I know exactly what this experience will be like, or what the kind of people in the swinging lifestyle are like. We want to meet genuinely good people who enjoy friendships first, and fun second. All my wife has to compare this to is the typical bar crowd which have absolutely no resemblence to this as near as I can tell.

The first question is should we enter into this lifestyle given the openness we have had with eachother to experiment? Secondly, it would be how do we even go about finding the right people and places? And third it is that my wife is in no way bisexual (nor am I). She would not mind kissing a girl and doing certain sensual things, but the idea of going all the way with one is not something she has any desire to try. She is much more inclined to participate in a situation where couples swap and enjoy eachother. And I respect this. The bottom line is she is my wife foremost, and if we cannot enjoy this for the betterment of our relationship there is no point in doing it.

Really what I need is some good solid advice from someone who knows where we are at and what we are going through. And hopefully by my asking this question, I can gain great insight from you with regard as to how to slowly, correctly, and honestly go into this with as few bumps in the road as possible.

Thank you very much for reading this, and I wish you a blessed day.

Answer
Hi Juan
Thanks for allowing me to help you with your questions.
After reading your letter i am thinking that your wife is one very lucky lady.
It seems you both have the communication necessary to be able to explore the lifestyle in a wonderful and connected way together.
Now the answer to your question:
Swinging is about YOU both the couple, never about one or the other.
It is about exploring desires and fantasies with eachother and not about one person wanting to explore alone. So you seem to have that all sorted.
This is what we tell our patrons on a tour and on our site so i feel it is necessary to share this with you.
You are starting a journey of fullfilment, at anytime you feel that journey is in jeopardy of failing and you are not communicating anymore STOP. Never is it about the other couple or single, you never have to explain to anyone why you say NO or Stop even if it is in the middle of play. If either or both of you have any concerns, or get a "niggle" in the tummy it is simply not right..so STOP and leave together.
Having sex with others should never be so important to either or both of you that you "ignore" your own partner whilst playing. Of course unless you do seperate room swapping, which is very rare these days.
There have been occassions where my hubby is having sex with the other guys wife with a nice hardone..if you know what i mean, and i am getting the soft end of the deal. When this happens, my hubby would stop and come to me, and say to the other guy, sorry mate it is not all about your misses, but about mine too, so you go to your wife and let me look after mine.lol
You see it is simply not that important. You must also remember that there is a big difference in Having sex and Making love.
We simply Fuck others, but make love with eachother.
No conncections at all to the other people, or person, they are simply a tool in our journey on our own desires.
Can i suggest clubs are the best place to go to seek this fun.
So your research, make sure they are clean and not overwhelmed with single guys.
Sometimes going to someones house is a little off putting , cause you feel you cannot escape if you want to, where as in a club, you can simply move on to the next couple and chat etc.

Read the rest here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/2009/2/Couple-Considering-Swinging.htm