Thursday, March 12, 2009
Swingers on Life of Mars
A few Blogs ago I talked about an episode of CSI that upset me over there pretrial of Swingers... In that posting I mentioned that the TV series Life of Mars would be doing a show that had a focus of swingers / wife swapping… I am very please to say that Life of Mars was good… Since it is based back in 1973 the depiction of Swingers seemed true to form. It’s is a bit before my time however from the studies of the lifestyle it seems to be true to the history. When they broke out the bowl for car keys I had to laugh… that seemed a common theme back then – attend a party, drop your keys in a bowl and later the wives would reach in the bowl and grab a set of keys and then go to a room with the owner of those keys. Truly a wife swapping adventure… In my opinion things and thinking has progressed since then but even in that reflection of history they had rules of swinging. It was quite refreshing to see the writers include that fact. Again the motive for Murder was Jealousy; because the husband broke the number one rule don’t fall in Love. Emotions can be a powerful thing and TV does stress the extremes so this angle doesn’t bother me in the least. If you are new or a longtime member of the Swinglifestyle jealousy can and probably will arise. It is the communication that you and your spouse share that will help you deal with any issues that come up. So the question might be is it really worth it to get involved in the Swinglifestyle? I say most definitely if your relationship is strong and you communicated with your spouse the closeness you can achieve far outweighs any isolated instant of jealousy that would come up.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Don't let the church goers fool you
here is an article we came across on Porn in the US.
Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers
16:18 27 February 2009 by Ewen Callaway
Americans may paint themselves in increasingly bright shades of red and blue, but new research finds one thing that varies little across the nation: the liking for online pornography.
A new nationwide study (pdf) of anonymised credit-card receipts from a major online adult entertainment provider finds little variation in consumption between states.
"When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different," says Benjamin Edelman at Harvard Business School.
However, there are some trends to be seen in the data. Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study finds.
"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," Edelman says.
Political divide
Edelman spends part of his time helping companies such as Microsoft and AOL detect advertising fraud. Another consulting client runs dozens of adult websites, though he says he is not at liberty to identify the firm.
That company did, however, provide Edelman with roughly two years of credit card data from 2006 to 2008 that included a purchase date and each customer's postal code.
After controlling for differences in broadband internet access between states – online porn tends to be a bandwidth hog – and adjusting for population, he found a relatively small difference between states with the most adult purchases and those with the fewest.
The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users; Montana bought the least with 1.92 per 1000. "The differences here are not so stark," Edelman says.
Number 10 on the list was West Virginia at 2.94 subscriptions per 1000, while number 41, Michigan, averaged 2.32.
Eight of the top 10 pornography consuming states gave their electoral votes to John McCain in last year's presidential election – Florida and Hawaii were the exceptions. While six out of the lowest 10 favoured Barack Obama.
read the rest here: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680
Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers
16:18 27 February 2009 by Ewen Callaway
Americans may paint themselves in increasingly bright shades of red and blue, but new research finds one thing that varies little across the nation: the liking for online pornography.
A new nationwide study (pdf) of anonymised credit-card receipts from a major online adult entertainment provider finds little variation in consumption between states.
"When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different," says Benjamin Edelman at Harvard Business School.
However, there are some trends to be seen in the data. Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study finds.
"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," Edelman says.
Political divide
Edelman spends part of his time helping companies such as Microsoft and AOL detect advertising fraud. Another consulting client runs dozens of adult websites, though he says he is not at liberty to identify the firm.
That company did, however, provide Edelman with roughly two years of credit card data from 2006 to 2008 that included a purchase date and each customer's postal code.
After controlling for differences in broadband internet access between states – online porn tends to be a bandwidth hog – and adjusting for population, he found a relatively small difference between states with the most adult purchases and those with the fewest.
The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users; Montana bought the least with 1.92 per 1000. "The differences here are not so stark," Edelman says.
Number 10 on the list was West Virginia at 2.94 subscriptions per 1000, while number 41, Michigan, averaged 2.32.
Eight of the top 10 pornography consuming states gave their electoral votes to John McCain in last year's presidential election – Florida and Hawaii were the exceptions. While six out of the lowest 10 favoured Barack Obama.
read the rest here: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
one Bad Experience isn't the end
We came across this posting of a Q & A and thought we would share it with you... As our experience with wife swapping and playing in the swinglifestyle has shown that the rules you set between you and your spouse govern the joy you'll experience...
Expert: Analisa - 3/3/2009
Question
Ok so my husband and I have talked over and over about being with other people, becoming a swinging couple and we established rules, talked openly about it. We both agree that swinging is a different lifestyle and as for our relationship we are confidant that we can handle it as we agreed it really is about sex and pleasure, the love is reserved just for us. Here is the problem. We recently went to a resort that was well just very open minded. So as we met more people and got to know them, I found a guy that I thought might be a new experience. So my husband and I decided that we will try that. It was just me and the other guy at the time as my husband and I talked that let me try it on my own so I can see how comfortable I was with being with another man. So I went back to this guys room, started fooling around and then the tables turned and he decided that we was more into another aspect of sex that I was not ready for and so I left. I actually felt really used and we didn't even get to the actual sex part. I want to continue this lifestyle but now I know my husband and I went about it the wrong way. So my question is really how do you recover from a bad first experience and still try to find the fun in swinging???
Answer
Christina,
For starters we suggest you re-think your 'rules' (BTW-they should be flexible enough that you two can change them as needed). One of our primary 'rules' is we never separate or "swing alone". We are in this because we both enjoy seeing the other enjoying themselves and it helps if we can each keep an eye out for each other.
Our next suggestion, is just keep trying, not everyone out there is like that guy and there are many fun COUPLES out there to party with.
Also we suggest avoiding the single guys until you two are a bit more experienced and definitely not ever alone! Single guys are a dime a dozen and have nothing at stake. It is very hard to find respectful ones who will listen to what you are wanting and keep it to just that.
Finally, we recommend that you make certain the other party/parties involved understand your ground rules and exactly what you are expecting. This serves two purposes, the first is everyone know where they stand and what to expect; and secondly it prevents most nasty surprises or unpleasant/uncomfortable situations.
Hope this helps,
Analisa
read more Q&A's here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/2009/3/Bad-Experience.htm
Expert: Analisa - 3/3/2009
Question
Ok so my husband and I have talked over and over about being with other people, becoming a swinging couple and we established rules, talked openly about it. We both agree that swinging is a different lifestyle and as for our relationship we are confidant that we can handle it as we agreed it really is about sex and pleasure, the love is reserved just for us. Here is the problem. We recently went to a resort that was well just very open minded. So as we met more people and got to know them, I found a guy that I thought might be a new experience. So my husband and I decided that we will try that. It was just me and the other guy at the time as my husband and I talked that let me try it on my own so I can see how comfortable I was with being with another man. So I went back to this guys room, started fooling around and then the tables turned and he decided that we was more into another aspect of sex that I was not ready for and so I left. I actually felt really used and we didn't even get to the actual sex part. I want to continue this lifestyle but now I know my husband and I went about it the wrong way. So my question is really how do you recover from a bad first experience and still try to find the fun in swinging???
Answer
Christina,
For starters we suggest you re-think your 'rules' (BTW-they should be flexible enough that you two can change them as needed). One of our primary 'rules' is we never separate or "swing alone". We are in this because we both enjoy seeing the other enjoying themselves and it helps if we can each keep an eye out for each other.
Our next suggestion, is just keep trying, not everyone out there is like that guy and there are many fun COUPLES out there to party with.
Also we suggest avoiding the single guys until you two are a bit more experienced and definitely not ever alone! Single guys are a dime a dozen and have nothing at stake. It is very hard to find respectful ones who will listen to what you are wanting and keep it to just that.
Finally, we recommend that you make certain the other party/parties involved understand your ground rules and exactly what you are expecting. This serves two purposes, the first is everyone know where they stand and what to expect; and secondly it prevents most nasty surprises or unpleasant/uncomfortable situations.
Hope this helps,
Analisa
read more Q&A's here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adult-Swinging-2707/2009/3/Bad-Experience.htm
Monday, March 9, 2009
The hunt for the golden unicorn
A lot of couples search for that single bi female to join them in a hot threesome. For many it is their first experience in the swinglifestyle or at least what they want as their first experience. How do you find this mystical creature the golden unicorn a single bi female? Some try bars others try friends, this can be very dangerous for some couples. My husband and I have played with a few bi girlfriends and have found several things to be careful of. If you as a couple are thinking of entering the swinglifestyle and want to add the golden unicorn to your relationship we suggest a couple of things to ask yourselves.
1. Do each of us want to do this?
2. Is this a one time thing or do we want to have an ongoing relationship?
3. Can we handle any Jealousy issues that come up?
4. What if she likes one of us more than the other?
We have found that the hunt for a single bi female can be very exhausting and most of the time not really worth the headache. Playing with other couples in the swinglifestyle has been more rewarding than our experiences with any golden unicorn. Even our experience with single males has been less of a challenge. With all that being said we are not against single bi females we have found the best place to meet them is through an online personals site. Chat with them get a feel of the personality you are thinking about inviting into your bedroom. It has been our experience now our rule that a one time thing is best, no on-going relationship. Be open-minded think about inviting a couple who is looking for the same thing and that you get along with to come play with you, start of with soft swap before moving into full swap. Communicate with each other... Talk about your feeling... Jealousy issues will come up it is how you address them and handle them that matters. The Swinglifestyle can be extremely fun and rewarding... The play time you share can bring you closer together as long as you are open with each other.
1. Do each of us want to do this?
2. Is this a one time thing or do we want to have an ongoing relationship?
3. Can we handle any Jealousy issues that come up?
4. What if she likes one of us more than the other?
We have found that the hunt for a single bi female can be very exhausting and most of the time not really worth the headache. Playing with other couples in the swinglifestyle has been more rewarding than our experiences with any golden unicorn. Even our experience with single males has been less of a challenge. With all that being said we are not against single bi females we have found the best place to meet them is through an online personals site. Chat with them get a feel of the personality you are thinking about inviting into your bedroom. It has been our experience now our rule that a one time thing is best, no on-going relationship. Be open-minded think about inviting a couple who is looking for the same thing and that you get along with to come play with you, start of with soft swap before moving into full swap. Communicate with each other... Talk about your feeling... Jealousy issues will come up it is how you address them and handle them that matters. The Swinglifestyle can be extremely fun and rewarding... The play time you share can bring you closer together as long as you are open with each other.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
How Swingers are portrayed, or how the media gets it wrong again.
The other day I was watching an old episode of CSI and it was focused on a group of Swingers. Needless to say, the writers got it wrong. It pisses me off every time I see some TV show on us, and it's wrong. Case in point, in the CSI episode they we’re all neighbors. DUH! I have never seen, nor would we ever have a situation where we play with our neighbors. The very idea brings up all sorts of dynamics that are troubling at the very least. Second the characters were just that; characters- shadows of reality… they reflected some resemblance of actual people we have meet yet they were more like those carnival drawings you get ; an exaggeration of the truth and a poor one at that. At best caricatures. Third (and the one that got me) is that the killing took place over a jealousy issue because one husband was having sex with another couples 15 year old daughter (It was the daughter that killed her mom when she saw her playing with her lover.) I could understand the jealousy issue. Emotions can be a powerful thing but what got me was the underage child. Sure as swingers we are more Open-minded but we're not Child molesters. The majority of us have children and are damn good parents at that. This comparison is like saying homosexuals should not be near kids because they’ll try to have sex with them or make them gay. Now I will say that I saw another episode of CSI: NY and it was about a threesome couple (two women and one Male) in that episode one of the females killed the guy because she always came second. That one was believable and didn't piss me off, but it did make me flinch.
I am a glutton for punishment. This week Life on Mars is going to be about a bunch of Swingers and I will be glued to the TV to see their take on it. Hopefully those writers will it more right than wrong, we’ll see. The jury is still out.
I am a glutton for punishment. This week Life on Mars is going to be about a bunch of Swingers and I will be glued to the TV to see their take on it. Hopefully those writers will it more right than wrong, we’ll see. The jury is still out.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Reported by ABC NEWS
Kinky Sex Is on the Rise, Therapists Say
Sexual Fetishes, Sadomasochism, Bondage, Swinging, Even Bestiality: Is it the Internet?
By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES
Feb. 11, 2009
Eroticism is in the eye of the beholder. In Japan, some women turn to electrically charged squid for sexual satisfaction. In the American world of masochism, one man begged to be tied on a spit and roasted over sizzling coals. His counterpart, a latex-loving dominatrix, reached ecstasy merely watching his pain.
What is abnormal may not necessarily be unnatural, according to sexologists who study the outer limits of the human psyche.
And, increasingly, as seen in a plethora of new books and films -- not to mention thousands of sites on the Internet -- kinky sex is getting more attention.
To badly paraphrase Alfred Kinsey, [who pioneered sex research in the 1940s and 50s, filming couples in flagrante in his Indiana attic], 'the only unnatural sex act is the one you can't perform,'" said Robert Dunlap, a California sex therapist and filmmaker.
Paraphilias -- or socially unacceptable sexual practices -- are more common than most ordinary "vanilla" teleiophiles [those who desire adults] would imagine, according to Dr. Judy Kariansky, a sex therapist from Columbia University.
Read the Full Article here: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/story?id=6839410&page=1
Sexual Fetishes, Sadomasochism, Bondage, Swinging, Even Bestiality: Is it the Internet?
By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES
Feb. 11, 2009
Eroticism is in the eye of the beholder. In Japan, some women turn to electrically charged squid for sexual satisfaction. In the American world of masochism, one man begged to be tied on a spit and roasted over sizzling coals. His counterpart, a latex-loving dominatrix, reached ecstasy merely watching his pain.
What is abnormal may not necessarily be unnatural, according to sexologists who study the outer limits of the human psyche.
And, increasingly, as seen in a plethora of new books and films -- not to mention thousands of sites on the Internet -- kinky sex is getting more attention.
To badly paraphrase Alfred Kinsey, [who pioneered sex research in the 1940s and 50s, filming couples in flagrante in his Indiana attic], 'the only unnatural sex act is the one you can't perform,'" said Robert Dunlap, a California sex therapist and filmmaker.
Paraphilias -- or socially unacceptable sexual practices -- are more common than most ordinary "vanilla" teleiophiles [those who desire adults] would imagine, according to Dr. Judy Kariansky, a sex therapist from Columbia University.
Read the Full Article here: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/story?id=6839410&page=1
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